Finding Yourself Takes Courage.
Do you remember when you knew what you wanted? When you were so sure of yourself and what you loved to do? The beautiful and intense feeling of the passion raging through your veins? I remember this feeling.
And then…life happened. And by life, I mean the matrix infused cocktail we are all forced to swallow. School, work, buy material things, get married, have kids. Oh, and your life is owned by money and you’ll work long hours for it. I threw myself into that life because that’s what I thought I needed to do. I was not truly happy anymore and I felt as if I was drowning. Could I save myself?
Yes I could. So, after a recent breakup with my ex fiance, I decided to do some deep soul searching. I was not nearly as happy as I could have been and that played a big factor into why the breakup happened. So I vowed to myself that I would learn how to love myself again and find my passions again.
Luckily, it happened. The playful, loving girl who became lost along the way stepped forward into the light. Her shy smile shone with a brilliant sense of excitement and determination. I’m so happy to say that she has taken the wheel now and I’ve never felt so happy.
Sure, my mind occasionally wanders to the man who held my heart for so long, but my newfound love for myself has eased the hurt. I am so thankful for this opportunity to grow like this and to experience myself so deeply. There are things about myself that I never knew and honestly, it’s refreshing.
What I think is so important here is that I realized how much power and control I have over my own life and that’s going to alter how I act from this very moment.
Sometimes, when you’re stumbling along a dark forest, you come across a path that will lead you back to the sun. This path WILL always arrive for you. And what I’ve discovered is that when I actively make time to do the things I love, I am so much happier. I wake up smiling, I laugh with the birds and I walk in bliss. Being comfortable with who I am and what I love is the best gift I could have been given.
Life has a way of surprising you and you could take it with a smile or with tears. There are things that will seem out of your control but just know that it will always work out how it needs to. You will have experiences that will shape you into who you’re meant to be and these experiences aren’t always going to be easy or fun.
Many people have risen out of the ashes and, quite frankly, kicked some ass. And I’m excited to be one of those people. And you should too!
So if you’re feeling lost in this big world, just know that you have the amazing opportunity to find yourself. Find that playful, happy part of you that might have stepped back into the shadows when you began training to play “adult.”
Here’s a newsflash: YOU DON’T NEED ANYONE’S PERMISSION. If you need to get in touch with that wonderful part of you, then do it. Starving yourself of happiness is not going to go well and you will drown. Even if this means stepping into uncomfortable territory for a while, it’s important. I spent so much time worrying about what others thought and wasted so much energy on people who didn’t serve me. I know now that I can choose my experiences. And do you know what? I choose to be happy. I choose to love myself and I promise to do something that I love every single day.
In my case, being alone is what helped me. I wish that I could have made this progress while I was in a wonderful relationship, but I didn’t see it then. And I truly forgive myself for that. This was meant to happen and I know I will be okay.
And you will be okay too! I want you to do something right now, okay?
Close your eyes. Think of something you love to do whether it be writing, painting, singing, helping people, talking, taking pictures…whatever. Imagine yourself doing this thing at this exact moment and actually feel the emotions that come with it.
Do you feel happiness? Do you feel like life is back? Good. Now I want you to make time to do this thing as much as you can. I want you to do this because it’s so important for your personal growth. Life is a blessing and I want to share this amazing gift with as many people as I can. So take control, do what feeds your soul and laugh often. Your happiness is the most important thing here.
It can be scary for sure but it is worth it. So pick yourself up, brush yourself off and keep going. Make time for what you enjoy most, love yourself for the amazing qualities you possess and change your life.
Finding yourself takes courage, but you can do it.
• xoxo •